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- Electrify all fire hydrants within a 5 mile radius of your home. - Dig a moderately deep hole in victim's back yard. Place in the bottom a half uncovered plastic replica of a human skull. Leave quickly. - Feed the pooch a blueberry slushi. A half cup should be enough. - Purchase 3 or 4 of those real-fur mice toys and plant in target's home. Saturate fur with industrial adhesive of choice. - Purchase a fake cat tail and glue to fur lining target dog's jowls. In lieu of the cat tail, ripped and torn infant osh kosh overalls work well.